感謝主赐我将近一个世纪的妈妈與我相伴的时光。妈妈自己也说,能活到99岁本身就是一个见证。这就是我的母亲,她活着就是为了作主见证。
要說的話太多...我在媽媽一生中陪伴她的时间是最长的。從我很小的時候到現在成為奶奶,我知道媽媽對我的成長產生了很大的影響。
妈妈勤奋又有创造力,是个企业家,涉足各种生意—从餐饮、美容到时尚。我常常跟着她,特别是在她的服装生意中,从剪裁样板到陪她一起拜访客户。我一直在她身边协助。她鼓励我要尽全力做到最好。
妈妈还常常让我坐在一旁听姐姐练琴,希望我能學習姐姐成為鋼琴家。 虽然我远远不及(ji)姐姐,但妈妈搬去澳门的第一件事,就是为我买了一架钢琴。她对音乐有极大的热爱,在印度尼西亞,她經常舉辦家庭音樂會. 搬到灣區候,她開始參加一個叫CCCMIW的合唱團組織. 她會和 Nelson一起共乘。
後來,媽媽成功說服了一位不懂中文不懂唱歌的印尼年輕人加入合唱團,並每週一載她一程。Soegen 這位年輕人繼續加入合唱團兩年,直到他被調到外州工作。後來就輪到我開車送她去練習了。每周一晚上都要從Pleasanton to Mountain View 去合唱团练习,
我也因此加入, 爱上了唱诗班, 并学会了指挥。為了鼓勵和支持我的新事工,母親加入了我們教會的唱詩班。當時,她的視力已經很差,但Theresa幫助她放大樂譜;直到有限的紙張尺寸再也無法容納放大的字母。
我們教會每聖誕和復活節的聯合音樂崇拜; 媽媽總是在場. 崇拜結束了,媽媽必走去我身邊. 教會留意的姊妹就會跟我說你看你媽要眾人知道你是他的女兒, 站在你旁邊. 媽媽對孫子的成就感到非常自豪。在他們畢業典禮上,媽媽請朋友陪她去買珍貴的禮物和有意義的禮品卡。
我想不到媽媽活不過100歲.
到了她生命的后期,跌倒的次数开始变多。她八十多岁时有一次严重的摔倒,需要手术。妈妈生命最后三年,摔倒频率增加,需要专业护理。她先被送到 Dublin的捕助生活中心,后来因更多
的跌倒和意识混乱转到记忆照护 病房。在那里我看到她快速恶化。视力全失,走路能力下降,混乱程度加剧。混乱导致更多摔倒,最后连站立都不行了,接着出现褥疮和尿布疹。原本每餐食欲旺盛,后来却吃不下。我每次喂她, 只能喂进去一点点,一顿饭要花一个半小时才喂完四分之一盘。
今年二月,她摔倒四次,有三次送急诊,但一次骨折都没有。但最后那次摔倒影响最大。X光和核磁共振没发现内伤,但她彻底失去了站立能力。我能明显感觉到,她的喜乐从她身上被抽离了。
在她逐渐失去视力、意识、行动能力和食欲的过程中,我会时不时地帮助她预备见主的那一天。
我会与她一起祷告,向她保证,当她见到基督时,主不仅会张开慈爱的怀抱迎接她,还会对她说:“你打了美好的仗——做得好,我忠心又良善的仆人。"每次她都会带着平安的微笑回应。
直到最后,妈妈的祷告都充满赞美、感恩和谦卑,愿意盡心、盡性、盡力的爱主做一个更好的基督见证人。
她每次祷告结束时总会说:“主啊,我爱你。
就像我说的,主一直保守她,把她安置在美丽的地方—从印度尼西亚、澳门、香港到湾区。妈妈非常爱湾区。她住的地方要么很寬敞,要么可以看到海灣和城市燈光; 在辅助生活中心,她就像是住在豪华酒店的旅人;而在她离世前最后10天,主又为她预备了更美的地方
—位于山上的共济会之家,有专业的医疗人员给予更多照护。直到最后,妈妈的生命体征一切正常,血氧也有90%以上。她平静地走完了人生的最后口气.
那座每晚点灯的共济会之家,是我曾以为只有贵宾才能入住的地方,但主却在那里让她安然度过人生最后的时光。我无法想象她如今所居住的地方—那是基督早已为我们预备的天上居所。
媽媽,上帝賜給她近百歲長壽;祂也賜給我耐心的教訓。我還沒學好。有時候你不肯吃,我就會不耐煩的跟你說我要走了,你會說謝謝,或者說我給你添麻煩了。
妈妈,我会怀念探望你的日子,怀念陪你吃饭、在楼下弹琴与你一起唱歌的时光。曾为你的视力复原祷告,为你我都能少受苦祷告,最后是为你能有安详离世祷告。妈妈,这次告别只是一瞬间的离别;我知道我们将在永恒最美的地方重聚,一起做我们一直深爱的事—赞美和跳舞,敬拜那位永远的上帝。
Mom's Final Journey in Life
I thank the Lord for granting my mother nearly a century of time with me. As she herself used to say, living to the age of 99 was a testimony in itself. That's who my mother was—she lived to bear witness to the Lord.
There's so much to say... Among my siblings, I was the one who spent the most time with Mom throughout her life. From when I was a little girl to now being a grandmother myself, I know my mother had a profound impact on my growing.
Mom was hardworking and creative--an entrepreneur who ventured into various businesses, from food and beauty to fashion. I spent a lot of time with her, especially in her fashion business, helping from cutting patterns to visiting clients with her. I was always by her side, assisting her. She encouraged me to always do my best.
She would also often have me sit and listen while my older sister practiced the piano, hoping I would hecome a pianist like her. Although I never quite matched my sister's skill, the first thing Mom did after moving to Macau was to buy me a piano.
She had a great love for music.
In Indonesia, she often held family musical concerts. After moving to the Bay Area, she joined a choir called CCCMIW, and she used to carpool with Nelson.
Later on, she successfully convinced a young Indonesian man who didn't speak Chinese or know how to sing to join the choir and drive her there every Monday. Soegen, that young man, stayed with the choir for two years until he was transferred out of state. After that, it became my turn to drive her to choir practice every Monday night, from Pleasanton to Mountain View.
Because of this, I also joined the choir and fell in love with it, and later, I learned conducting. To support my new ministry, Mom joined our church choir. At that time, mom’s eyesight was already poor, sisterTheresa helped her by enlarging the music scores to the point the page could no longer accommodate the large font.
At our church's Christmas and Easter music worshipservices, Mom was always present. At the end of the worship service, she would walk over to the front & stand next to me. A few friends from our church would comment, "Look, your mom wants everyone to know you're her daughter."
Mom was immensely proud of her grandchildren's accomplishments. At their graduations, she would ask friends or me to accompany her to pick out meaningful special gifts and gift cards.
I never imagined she wouldn't make it to pass 100.
Toward the end of her life, she began falling more frequently. In her 80s, one serious fall required a surgery. In her final three years, the frequency of falls increased that professional cares became necessary. She was first moved to an assisted living facility in Dublin . Later, due to more falls and increased confusion, she was transferred to a memory care unit.
There, I witnessed her rapid declines – a complete loss of vision, reduced mobility, and worsening confusion. The confusion led to more falls. Eventually, she couldn't even stand. Sitting & lying too long made her developed pressure sores and diaper rashes.
From once having a healthy appetite, she ate much less. Each meal I fed her took an hour and a half just to get through a quarter of the plate.
In February of this year, she fell four times-- three of which required trips to the ER, but none resulted in fractures. Still, the final fall had the biggest impact. X-rays and MRIs showed no internal injuries, but she completely lost the ability to stand. I could clearly see the joy being ripped awayfrom her.
As she gradually lost her sight, awareness, mobility, and appetite, I would help her prepare for the day she would meet the Lord. I prayed with her, reassuring her that when she saw Christ, He would open His loving arms to welcome her and say,
"You have fought the good fight- well done, my good and faithful servant." I can see her peaceful response with a smile.
Until the very end, Mom's prayers were filled with praise, gratitude, and humility-always desiring to love the Lord with all her heart, soul, and strength, and to be a better witness for Christ.
At the end of every prayer, she would always say, "Lord, I loveYou."
The Lord always protected her and placed her in beautiful places-from
Indonesia, Macau, and Hong Kong to the Bay Area. The places she lived were always spacious or had views of the bay and city lights. In the assisted living facility, it felt like she was a guest in a luxury hotel. And in the final 10 days of her life, the Lord once again prepared an even better place for her—at the Masonic Home on the hill, where professional caregivers provided her more attention.
Until the very end, her vital signs remained stable, and her oxygen level stayed above 90%. She passed away peacefully, taking her final breath.
That Masonic Home with lights glowing every night was a place I thought was only reserved for VIPs. Yet the Lord allowed her to spend her final days there in peace. I can't even begin to imagine the place she now dwells in—our heavenly home that Christ has already prepared for us.
Mom, God granted you a long & abundant life of nearly a hundred years; and through you, He taught me patience. I'm still learning.
Sometimes when you didn't want to eat, I would get frustrated and say I would leave you, and you would say, "Thank you," or I’m sorry for troubling you."
Mom, I will miss the days I came to visit you, the times I ate & fed you together, the time I played the piano downstairs with you by my side humming the melody. I once asked the Lordfor your vision to be restored, He did not answer. Then we prayed that both of us would suffer less, and finally we prayed that you would have a peaceful passing.
Mom, this goodbye is only temporary. I know we will meet again in the most beautiful dwelling for eternity, to do what we have always loved that is praising, dancing, and worshiping our God eternally.