Timothy Sayers McGrath's Obituary
Timothy Sayers McGrath, beloved father and grandfather, husband, brother, uncle, coach and friend, who proudly served his country and his community, and loved his family unconditionally, passed away at home in Oroville, CA on Wednesday, February 9th, 2022.
Tim was born on August 27th, 1946 in Hartford, CT to John and Virginia McGrath. He was the fourth in the line-up of five children: Johnny, Terry, MaryGay, Timmy and Ricky. His parents chose a quaint house on a dead-end street in Rockville Centre, on Long Island, NY, to raise their kids and live out their years. Tim’s exposure and proximity to baseball fields, his beloved river, the city and the ocean, allowed for these parts and pieces of his childhood to become an integral and interwoven part of his life. A 1964 graduate of St. Agnes high school, he was a skilled athlete and all-star baseball player, who spent most of his free time with friends fishing, listening to doo-wop, and reading. Tim was a fan of poetry - Wordsworth, Whitman, Blake - and graduated from St. John’s University in Queens in 1968 with a BA in English Literature.
As with many of his generation, Tim’s life changed forever with the start of the Vietnam War. Tim proudly enlisted in the Marine Corps and trained at Quantico in December 1968, transferring to Vietnam as a Second Lieutenant in July of 1969. He served in Kilo Company 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, commanding several different platoons as officers were wounded. He was the Company Executive Officer, the Commanding Officer, and finally, the battalion S-2 Intelligence Officer. During his service, Tim was wounded twice, but he insisted on returning to his Kilo Company. He left Vietnam in the fall of 1970 as a First Lieutenant.
While in Vietnam, Tim was in regular communication with his family. He would receive letters reporting back news as simple as the weather and as grand as birth and wedding announcements. A testament to his devotion to family, he took the time to write back daily. His letters were written with a flair for poetry - one might describe them as beautiful, haunting, and always peppered with a good sense of humor despite the grueling reality of war. Through his letters, his immense bond with his Marine Corps brothers was palpable. He wrote about being connected in a way he had never experienced. The bonds that were built during his time in service were unbreakable, and he remained connected with his Kilo Company even in the days before his death, with one of his beloved Marine brothers by his side. While his decorated time of service is not something he spoke about regularly, even with some of his closest friends, his experiences in Vietnam were deeply woven into the fabric of his being. He was a Marine through and through.
Tim was released from active duty in 1971 as a Captain. He began bartending which afforded him the opportunity to enjoy his passions for fishing, hiking, and exploring the natural beauty of Southern California. He decided he could never again live in New York after falling in love with the California coast. It was on a fishing trip in 1975 where he kindled his relationship with his first wife Michele. They fell fast in love and moved to the San Francisco Bay Area in 1976 where they married and prepared to start a family. At this time, Tim began working at the San Francisco Airport for PSA, which would later be acquired by US Airways. He made lifelong friends at work, some of whom were present in his final days, and ultimately dedicated over 20 years of loyal service to the company. His dedication to work was driven by his dedication to family and his sense of duty to provide. His desire was deep for a home with roots, where he could build a life, and play a role in the growth of his community. Tim and Michele settled in Half Moon Bay in 1982, an ideal town for them on the edge of the Pacific Ocean, near redwood forests, flower fields, wide open spaces, and a short drive to the abundant rivers of Central California. They raised their four children there: Shannon, Kerry, Erin and Timothy John. The couple split in 1996, but remained friends as their children grew into adults, and shared in the joys of their grandchildren.
Each of Tim’s children had their own beautiful and uniquely special relationship with their dad. Each could be its own book – as could so many other chapters of Tim’s life. Each child received their own recipe, filled with his idiosyncrasies, his wit, his layered existence, the calming effect he had at times, and the frustration he could incite, his gentle strength, his physical power, his varied political beliefs, his compassion for the broken and hurt in all of us, his poetry, his wisdom, his voice, his intuition, his patience, his stubbornness, and his love which could bridge any chasm. Even as deeply as his children knew him, we still couldn’t know all of his layers. We could live our lives forever trying to capture the magic that exists between our varied relationships. There are not enough words to sum it up, but the simple through-line for Tim’s children can be found in a shared appreciation for the great outdoors, softball, baseball, music, sociability, duty, and family.
One of Tim’s lasting contributions to the Half Moon Bay community was through his involvement with the youth instructional league and girls’ softball programs. Every weekend Tim could be found at Smith Field in his standard garb of baggy sweatpants, a nylon bomber jacket, baseball t-shirt, team cap, and of course, to the chagrin of his children, his fanny-pack. Despite his questionable fashion choices, Tim was a beloved coach to hundreds of kids in the Half Moon Bay community, including his own (he was equally proud of both titles, “dad” and “coach”). He wore his team hats and jerseys proudly, and he took his coaching responsibilities seriously. Being a Coach was not a hobby, or a side-gig – coaching was his life. It allowed him to instill the lessons in others he had gathered through his diverse experiences - the fundamentals of baseball of course, and also the life lessons of diligence and drive, commitment to a team, shared joy and shared disappointment, working collaboratively one step at a time, and his favorite: stick-to-itiveness. He continued coaching until 2010, long after his own kids had moved on from the sport. He truly loved it. He loved his players. He loved the other coaches. He thrived in the leadership role and enjoyed playing the support role when called upon.
It was on the ballfield in 1991 where Tim met Reidun, his wife until death. Tim had coached Reidun’s daughter, so she knew of him peripherally, but it wasn’t until 2000 when they began dating and formed a life-long bond. The couple married in August 2003, and moved from Half Moon Bay to Oroville, CA, a few years later. Tim chose Oroville as his place of retirement for its proximity to the Feather River, and the many tranquil fishing spots in the area. Tim was deeply connected to nature his whole life, finding peace and calm in the woods, at the water’s edge, hiking a mountain, or on a boat in the ocean with a fishing rod in his hand. His beloved grandmother used to refer to Tim as her “nature boy”. He lived out his years fishing as much as possible and living a quiet life, traveling with his wife, and enjoying the simple pleasures of retirement. By 2019 he had eight grandchildren scattered throughout the country, in Reno, San Diego, Florida and New York. His grandchildren were the brightest sparkle in his blue eyes.
In his final years, Tim struggled with heart issues and respiratory illnesses among other health challenges. He used to speak proudly about having nine lives, and he always seemed to bounce back. In 2016, he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, which began a health struggle he endured until his final days. Tim was a fighter and was determined to live as many years as he could rack up. He certainly defied the odds and fought through the tough times until the end. Reidun was with him in lock-step for the entire process, through chemo and radiation, hospitalization and rehab, the ups and downs and everything in between. Until his final days, Tim used fishing and his grandchildren as motivations to get strong, to beat his disease, and to make it back to the water.
On February 9, 2022, Tim’s lungs gave way, and as his Kilo Company brothers would say, he reported to higher HQ. In the days leading up to his death, he was surrounded by his wife, his children, his friends, his sweet kitty Buster, and countless well wishes and prayers from friends near and far. His favorite songs were played and delicious food was prepared. He was a treasured soul to so many, whose heart will not be forgotten. He was a man with a life larger than one might assume from his quiet nature, a devout Catholic with a pure soul, a steadfast member of the fellowship, a fighter to the end, an angel in heaven who will continue to shine his light on all of us. He was the definition of a “stand-up guy.”
Tim was preceded in death by his dear grandmother “Bien Bien”, his parents John and Virginia McGrath, his sisters MaryGay McGrath and Teresa Lee Winfield, his brother Richard McGrath, his aunt Aurora Bonenfant, and many of his Marine Corps brothers. He is survived by his wife Reidun Sognnaes McGrath, his four children, Shannon Taylor (Justin), Kerry McGrath Cornman (Noah), Erin Nelson (Jesse) and Timothy John McGrath, the mother of his children Michele McGrath, his eight grandchildren, Shane and Evan, Sierra and Wyatt, Maya and Levi, Reid and Mia, his brother John McGrath (Karen), his step-children Erica Racz and Chris Falso (April), and his beloved Kilo family.
Watch for the wind, watch for the buds, watch for the strength in the redwood tree, watch for the hawks, watch for a person in need, watch for the quiet stillness between words, watch for the raging thunderstorms, watch for the single raindrop and the smell of metallic air. Watch for him. Take care of your family, hold your loved ones close, work hard and save your money, reach out to those who need your help, be kind and do unto others, never give up, follow through, squish the bug, sing loudly and embarrass your kids, eat sweet things, don’t ignore the pleasure of canned oranges and slow sunsets, be strong and don’t be afraid to cry, shake it off, and love, always love.
Semper Fi
Funeral and Memorial Services with be open to all and will take place at Skylawn Funeral Home and Memorial Park on Saturday, February 26, 2022. Hwy 92 at Skyline Blvd. San Mateo, CA 94402. Visitation begins in the Crystal Springs Chapel at 9am, with memorial and funeral services beginning at 11am. In lieu of flowers, please consider a gift to the Semper Fi Injured Marine Fund: https://semperfifund.org/ in honor of Timothy S. McGrath
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