Harriet Hardtke's Obituary
Harriet “Kay” Hardtke (née Gentry) passed away peacefully on January 26, 2026, in Menlo Park, California. She was born on July 22, 1944, in Birmingham, Alabama, to James E. and Marion Kay Gentry, and spent her middle school years in Atlanta, Georgia. Her family relocated to Burlingame, California when Kay was 14 years old after her father was transferred for work. As Kay loved to say, she was “dragged kicking and screaming to California,” but she ultimately became the quintessential Northern California girl and made it her forever home.
Kay was a proud member of the very first graduating class of Mills High School in Millbrae, California, and was especially delighted when her children followed in her footsteps by attending Mills as well.
She was predeceased by her parents and her beloved first born son, Eric Hardtke, who died at the age of 3 from meningitis.
Kay worked for many years as a bookkeeper and accountant, including roles at Pacific Bell and Reclaimed Island Lands Company in Menlo Park. She was known for her reliability, sharp mind, and strong work ethic, but it was her personality that truly set her apart.
Kay was the life of any party. She loved and accepted everyone and could strike up a warm, genuine conversation with absolutely anyone—and often did. She made friends wherever she went and maintained a large and eclectic social circle throughout her life, from neighbors to coworkers to teammates in her softball, bowling, and golf leagues.
Her life changed dramatically more than 30 years ago when she struck up a conversation with Tom Bonner on a downtown Menlo Park street corner. From that chance meeting grew a deep partnership and lasting love; they became constant companions and soul mates from that day forward. Kay delighted in accompanying Tom to his band’s gigs, proudly cheering him on from the crowd, and she never missed a chance to attend a good rock and roll concert. Music, like friendship, was one of life’s great joys to her.
Kay had many passions. She loved golf, camping, fast boats, and road trips in her converted van. She adored her grandchildren, cherished her cats, and found happiness in the simple pleasure of being surrounded by people she loved.
In her later years, Kay slowly faded from the world she had filled with laughter and conversation, as dementia gradually stole pieces of her remarkable memory. Even as words and details slipped away, her warmth, humor, and unmistakable spark endured. She continued to charm caregivers, delight family with her expressions and smiles, and remind everyone around her that joy does not require perfection, or even full clarity. Kay leaves behind memories far brighter than the illness that tried, unsuccessfully, to dim her light.
Kay is survived by her beloved husband and soul mate, Tom Bonner; her children Charles Hardtke (Sonia) of Burlingame, California, and David Hardtke (Malinda) of Oakland, California; her grandchildren Madelynn Hardtke, Audrey Hardtke, Cole Hardtke, and Mikaela Hardtke; and her dear brother James E. Gentry, Jr. of Santa Clara, California.
There will be a burial ceremony at Skylawn Memorial Park in Half Moon Bay on Friday, February 13, 2026 at noon. All family and friends and invited to come celebrate her life there, and at a luncheon that will follow.
What’s your fondest memory of Harriet?
What’s a lesson you learned from Harriet?
Share a story where Harriet's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Harriet you’ll never forget.
How did Harriet make you smile?