Toni K Pacini
Carlo Pacini’s my daddy. He was from San Francisco Bay/Santa Cruz area. But soon after he graduated from high school, he enlisted in the army. Stationed in Fort Benning, Georgia he must have felt like he had been sent to mars. Lonely and in a foreign land, one day he ventured forth from the base and hitch hiked to a nearby town in Alabama, where he met a lovely spirited young woman at a restaurant he took refuge in. Momma was always a delight. Their love, marriage, first child, happened in rapid succession.
Daddy was a paratrooper. As a young girl I had no idea what that meant, but now I know that he must have been very scared and brave. He and Momma separated when I was 2 ½ years old. I honestly have no remembrance of him during the first 2 ½ years of my life.
No need to linger on what was, what might have been, let’s get on to what matters. I met Carlo Pacini when I was 14 (long story/no need for the drama). Momma had moved back to Opelika, Alabama when they broke up in 1957. I was raised in the cotton mill village where my grandparents lived and worked in the cotton mill.
At 14 years old a situation opened up to go to California to meet Daddy. Short version…I did. He and I did not connect as I had dreamt we would. But his wife (my stepmom Barbara) and her two children from a previous marriage, embraced me.
Today, December 13, 2020, my daddy has been released and I hope he is at peace. Thirteen days ago a man (the most important man in my life) took his last breath and moved beyond. Our relationship was always complicated and often intense, but I hope he knows that I do love him.
If we had to understand people to love them, we would really be limited. Love is Love. I have NEVER understood love.
Carlo Pacini was my daddy.
It's complicated but I love you Daddy. Always, Toni